The LEAGUE Cup Final

Firstly, and most unimportantly, I'm not going to call it The Carling Cup. Because Carling tastes like piss. It tastes like the piss of a man that's drunk too much Carling, been pissed into a barrel with Carling stamped on it, spewed out into a pint glass, and served to you in a cheap boozer by an evil man masquerading as a barman, slapping it on the bar as you rummage in your pockets for loose change and take a sip -

'That's two pound twenty, please.'
'HOW much?'
'Two twenty.'
'For THAT?'
'Yep.'
'But it tastes like piss, you got anything else?'
'Stella.'
'Oh, I'll have one of those, then.'


Let that be a lesson to you.

Bleeeeuuurrrrgggghhh

Neither is it the Milk Cup, The Littlewooods Cup (more of a Vernon's boy myself), The Rumbelows Cup, The Coca-Cola Cup or The Worthington Cup. No it is The Football League Cup. Or The League Cup. End of.

Since Patrick Vieira's winning spot-kick against Man Utd in 2005 we have won precisely fuck all. We've been close to triumph in various competitions since then, but I don't want to drag all that up and put you on a downer before a match that could prove to be the catalyst of an amazing season. There has been some talk along the lines of it being our time to win something, it's been six years - so suuurrrely. It's a bit like living where I live. It rains. A lot. It's raining now. After an average spell of six days non stop rain we all kind of get to thinking, isn't it about time the sun came out?  No. It doesn't work like that. It still rains.

We can't affect the weather, we can't change it.

However. Leaping from the meteorological world to the world of football, tomorrow at four o'clock, at Wembley, eleven men in red and white - some tall, some average, one tiny and one mad can change things. And change it they must.

It's a competition, that frankly, has been derided by most of us in recent years. It has been seen as a breeding ground for our younger players - something that was scoffed at by most clubs, although now most copy our blueprint and use it to also blood their youth. Even the loss against Chelsea in 2007 was greeted by some with a shrug of the shoulders because of the experience and age of the team we put out, and because we knew we had bigger fish to fry.

But it didn't quite work out like that, did it?

This year, things have changed. Although fourth on the list of his priorities, some of the sides that Arsene has fielded in The League Cup show that he is taking it seriously at last, or listening to the discord and pleas of the fans to get something shiny in that trophy cabinet, however small.

'There is a weight on the team at the moment. We have to deliver trophies because we have not won any...I'm not the only one for whom that is important, there's the players' feelings too.'


True, to a point, but what about us, Monsieur, the fans? We're the ones that fill the stadium every game and sell our allocation to every away game, that's every, by the way. We deserve this as much as the players' 'feelings' do, if not more.

Fabregas and Walcott, in case you hadn't noticed are both out injured. While I would like Cesc on the pitch, it's too much of a risk when you look at the games to come, whatever his fucking personal trainer says, and Mr Ferrando doesn't pay his wages. Diaby, by some miracle is fit again, as are Van Persie and Koscielny. Nasri (who apparently is on the verge of signing his new deal) will slip elegantly into the centre and egomeister/winger Bendtner will play out on the right.

Birmingham will not be easy to play against. They are tough, direct, and have a few good technical players capable of turning a game - all ex Arsenal I might add. They have Zigic, who at 9 ft 6, will pose us more than a few problems at the back, but nothing that a Djourou and a step ladder can't deal with. I don't want to dwell on the opposition, however, because they still remind me of Eduardo's shattered limb and for that, I hate them.

It's a chance for Arshavin to continue his improvement all round and hopefully in front of goal, and for Jack Wilshere to pretty much do what he's been doing all season - be the best player on the pitch, unfazed by anything. Fabregas and Walcott aside, we have more than enough in terms of experience and talent to beat them, but I don't think it'll be a stroll. We're The Arsenal and we never make anything easy, you know.

This is a massive match for us. A win tomorrow will go a long way to instilling belief in the players' often fragile minds that they are winners. Putting my head on the block here, I'm sure if we lift the cup tomorrow, then we can put it in the trophy cabinet next to a much bigger one come the end of May.