Gooner in exile, away fan and cook

Wednesday 9 February 2011

The Pope and Saucy Jack.

Good morning to you all.

There is much to catch up on, and when I say much, I mean not a lot. Not a lot that bothers me, anyway.

Some good news first. It's all about the Swiss, not all the Swiss, but one Swiss gentleman in particular. Step forward Mr Cuno Wetzel (a kind of pastry), the Swiss physio, who informs us that the injury sustained by Johan Djourou on Saturday is just a bruised knee and he could be back in training within the week, and indeed could be fit to face Wolves this Saturday.

One week. Judging by the efficiency of their integrated rail network, the deliciousness of their chocolate, and the skill and utmost precision accuracy of their clocks and watches, expect Mr Djourou to trot out onto the pitch at precisely 16.05 on Saturday. Not a minute more, not a minute less. Having given a lot of thought to the St.James's park circus day, I have pinpointed, as have many others, the loss of Johan as the vital factor in the comedy free for all that followed. Some incredible facts (as ever) were flying around the tweeterverse last night, not least that in the 26 games the young man has played for us this season, we have lost none.

The Sun offered up some astounding insightful reportage yesterday with the news that Roman Abramovich was going to make a 50m offer for Cesc in the summer. Really? Get to the back of the queue, and fucking stay there. A smattering of bollocks is what I put that down to. And with the news today (a week before we play them), from FC Barcelona (more than a club - a giant player-raper of a club) director Raul Sanllehi  saying the Cesc deal is 'dead', expect them to continue their pursuit of our young Captain until a few days before the beginning of next season.  A proud Catalan he may be, a Chav he most definitely is not.

Ex Hitler Youth member, Bishop of Rome and leader of The Roman Catholic Church -Pope Benedict XVI, has arranged to meet the Spanish World Cup winning squad next Monday in Rome, so it's possible eight Barcelona players may miss Monday's training session. Sergio Busquets said -

'We have to talk to the club, but with the Champions League tie in London it will be very difficult. We'll talk to The Spanish Football Federation and the club, we'll do what is best'.





No, don't bother. Go to Rome. Have a good look round, it's a beautiful place. Have some pizza. Have lots of pizza. Maybe some pasta too. Get some down that Messi kid, he could do with a little bit more on him.

As for Cesc, one expects he will still be laid up with the 'flu'. One hopes, anyway.

Engerland play Denmark tonight in Copenhagen (aaah, memories..) in a meaningless friendly. Just like all the other meaningless friendlies, they are designed to do one thing - knacker out our players and fuck them up for the rest of the season. I readily admit that I am a club over country man every time. Always have been, always will be, and frankly don't give a flying fuck about our National team. Yet, tonight, I'll be watching. Because tonight, for me, it's all about the Wilshere, and to a lesser extent, the Walcott.

Young Jack will be playing in the holding roll. Interesting, considering his best position is a little further up the pitch. If he plays well in that position tonight and becomes accustomed to it, could it be a good thing for us, possibly supplying cover for Song if ever needed? Or, could it confuse the poor lad? I don't know. Isn't he a little to small to play there, or is he the next Makelele in the making? I'm sure, given that he's the most talented English footballer of his generation, he will be able to adapt to both, communicate with the dead, wrestle alligators and talk to dolphins. He's that good.

So, I'll be watching to see how our boys play. Fingers crossed for Rooney, Terry, Lampard and that Chelsea left back to get smashed (no apologies) to bits, and our lot to come back safe and sound from their respective games.

*crosses fingers*, *and toes*.




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